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Old Forums
02-06-2003, 12:25
ok thses i did steal off an american site, but there arent many americanisms

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. Even a bad German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization (especially a Macintosh snicker, snicker!!)).

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 12:56
eheheh. Dont you just hate Jurassic Park?

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 13:21
heh heh heh i thought you would enjoy them

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 13:44
u guys really are a bit nutty aint ye ;o

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 14:06
lol. nice 1 pp. in star trek the vital system that can help the lost crewmember is always destroyed......lol :-D

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 14:10
in any film containing a sword fight the hero always has to swing on the chandelears. (correct spelling?... oh who cares):o

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 14:38
just noticed they missed

When investigating a new planet NEVER under any circumstances wear yellow

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 14:48
wtf!?

why not?

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 15:14
in star trek (mainly the older ones) the random guy who wears yellow always dies in some obscure way, its the only reason he is there

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 18:52
In Vietnam films the black guy always dies. Dont you just hate the Speed Films twith that stupid flying bus :pissed: :shot: :bgun:

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 21:11
PP - it's always the guy in red mate, not yellow. :)

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 21:42
no, its the guy in yellow, someone back me up here

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 21:43
actually its a mix...cause if you think about it, if it were always yellow Kirk would've been dead long ago....but red would be like checkov dead or someone like that

Old Forums
02-06-2003, 22:09
reality check ppl...u r talking about which color shirt is killed more often in..wait for it...star trek...ok u can carry on now...

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 00:07
Kum cries at night because I kill him a lot on CS.

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 10:52
Yer and he comes from BRACKNELL!!!!!!

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 13:16
well at least it isnt wigan :p

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 13:29
i think someone in this forum is colour blind because people can't who dies the guy in red or the guy in yellow.:o

And i thought this was about films not TV series so it doesn't count in a film.

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 14:05
Have you ever noticed the something like 10 Star Trek movies?

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 14:07
fair point but i never seen any of them properly so i wouldn't know if the guy in red or yellow dies.

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 15:56
lol. PS the best start trek film is "First Contact" :p

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 16:48
its a mixture of both but mostly red!! red was security team whilst yellow was scientific...omg how sad is that I know these things...lol

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 16:57
[EDIT] ok just trying to prove my point, and i accidentally proved yours, you are right it is red

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 17:31
PLEASE STOP BEFORE I GO MAD AND START KILLING U ALL

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 18:07
Okay Kum there are a few problems:

You come from Bracknell.

You can't kill anyone.

When you got round to me, you would scream and say "OMG RED NOT YOU AGAIN OMGOMG PLZ DONT KILL MEEEE!!!!"

You smell.

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 20:08
Yeran you come from Bracknell.







PS you smell

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 20:34
That better not be directed at me Buch..

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 21:09
Tbh buch you have NO idea where bracknell is..and i would be surprised if u do to RD...also you lie so poorly....and i know of at least two others who have lived in bracknell at some point in there life.

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 21:28
That's the problem, we don't know where Bracknell is. Is it some kind of fake town?

Old Forums
03-06-2003, 23:39
OMG Kum is gonna do a Harry hungerford No more CS for you fool !!!:p :D

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 08:39
over me head kills....who the bejesus is Harry Hungerford

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 08:49
kills, it was red for security and BLUE for scientific, yellow was command and green was Spocks blood.......lol

however, in TNG red is command, yellow is security and blue is still scientific.......hah.:D

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 08:50
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...not u as well fragoff...another one to the darkside

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 12:11
I was referring to a tragedy that happened in England a few years ago Kum and was in very bad taste so I won't perpetuate it by kinda putting it up on here it is however a phrase that is used up here when someone goes on a rampage or loses the plot and kills lots of folk...

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 12:16
No RD it was directewd at KUm but so you dont feel left out ... You smell too :D. And i do know were Bracknell is ....



Its Here : http://www.multimap.com/map/browse.cgi?client=public&db=hcgaz&addr1=&client=public&Submit.x=22&addr2=&advanced=&Submit.y=6&addr3=&pc=&X=486745&quicksearch=Bracknell&Y=169300&scale=100000&place=Bracknell,Bracknell+Forest&coordsys=gb

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 13:13
Buch u r just sad looking up a smelly place like braacknell.

(No offense to anyone here who lives in Bracknell)

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 15:23
dont worry duck, its only Kum-stain who comes from bracknel, insult him as much as u like

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 15:59
firstly its not just me that comes from bracknell...you know at least one other PP, and i also know of somebody else who has lived here, secondly...WHO is losing the plot...u lot are the ones talking about which shirt color gets killed more often in star trek|-O

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 16:05
gO oN THE fraG ...LOL:p :D

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 19:13
Kum-stain Kum-stain is a big woos-tain

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 20:18
yeah well you come from bracknell

Old Forums
04-06-2003, 22:04
bracknells great...everything in one town...ice rink..sky slope...water world type thing..cinema...bowling...shops..hotels...swimming pools a plnty...astro turf for free...loads of fields...easy train and bus access...pedestrianised town centre...as for cambridge...well..frankly it sucks..and wigan...don get me started on wigan

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 07:22
Sky Slope m8!!! Bracknell must be a great place I have never even heard of a sky slope could you explain to us what one of those is m8 ?:D :p ...lol

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 08:20
lol...

I was about to say the same thing:cool:

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 10:30
Yer but Wigan has pie an pea wet tbh. Shove that in your Sky Slope an smoke it.

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 10:35
i don't mind kills and sitting having a go at me for me spelling...but buch..u can hardly talk :P

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 11:37
Yeah but Buch is Buch.

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 12:55
Yer what RD said ... shove that up your Sky Slope and smoke it :p... ahh wel i have a craving for pea wet gtg :p

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 15:11
Okay.. repeat that in English. Oo;;

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 23:05
repeat what?

Old Forums
05-06-2003, 23:28
shove that up your Sky Slope and smoke it ... ahh wel i have a craving for pea wet gtg

Sorry mate I don't speak Russian..

Old Forums
06-06-2003, 13:02
what part of it didnt you understand? The Sky Slope part?

Old Forums
06-06-2003, 13:13
THE WHOLE THING! *dies*

Old Forums
07-06-2003, 11:58
Yer = Yes

What RD said = I agree with Red Dragon. And i will repeat his statement.

shove hat in your sky slopeand smoke it = an attempted joke with elements drawn from the "shove that in your pipe and smoke it" phrase and the spelling misdemeaner(s? :p) of Kumbyah

ahh well i have a craving for pea wet gtg = I have to go due to my longing, almost obsesive, love of pie and pea wet

Old Forums
01-07-2003, 14:49
by the way, bracknell is a shithole in the south of england. you dont wanna come here. oh and kaz doesnt have a pc to access cs on atm, or these forums, hehehheheh

Old Forums
01-07-2003, 16:53
Lovely way to resurrect the dead thread. O_o;;

Old Forums
01-07-2003, 19:10
mmmmnnnn pea wet :D

Old Forums
02-07-2003, 17:56
What is pea wet? A bladder problem? :D

Old Forums
02-07-2003, 18:22
the water from mushy peas

Old Forums
02-07-2003, 18:25
ITS NOT WATER!!!!!!AAHHHHHH YOU FOOLS !!!! IT AINT WATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. now look youve made me wee my pants. Better gt some more tenner lady. btw it aint water :p

Old Forums
02-07-2003, 18:48
Originally posted by Buch
ITS NOT WATER!!!!!!AAHHHHHH YOU FOOLS !!!! IT AINT WATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. now look youve made me wee my pants. Better gt some more tenner lady. btw it aint water :p

Translation :

Dey keeked meh oot a nursereh fur meesbahavin

Old Forums
03-07-2003, 08:20
LOL wtf ?????

Old Forums
03-07-2003, 13:24
Thats what I say every time I read one of your posts :p

Old Forums
03-07-2003, 17:47
Originally posted by 5lab
by the way, bracknell is a shithole in the south of england. you dont wanna come here. oh and kaz doesnt have a pc to access cs on atm, or these forums, hehehheheh

:(

i have 4 pcs :D

Old Forums
03-07-2003, 22:33
Think he's talking about Kumbyah, :p

Old Forums
03-07-2003, 22:52
yeah ive got 4 too. shame i dont let him use em really :)

Old Forums
04-07-2003, 14:50
Yer i was thinking i aint seen Kum for ages but id seen Kaz lke 5 mins afore :p